Thursday, April 16, 2009

oh so jaded.


damn i feel so jaded. and im not even 20.
everytime i recall how jess, mf and i end up talking about stuff we used to do in primary school, songs we used to listen to (where did lifehouse, 3 doors down, matchbox 20 etc. all go to??), food we used to eat, people we used to know (or still know but havent kept in contact with for a long time), things we used to do, kids these days... oh god we start to feel like 3 old ladies who have known each other and life for a long time. then again, we have known each other for pretty long. 12 years? hahaha. anyway,if you guys read this, i love you my dear goldies ;)

yeah back to the point. i feel so jaded. i suddenly feel that my life is a waste. what have i been doing? what have i achieved? what am i going to be doing? what should i be doing? why? and how? when i talk to people who have dreams, who already see a future for themselves, or who already are in the midst of achieving their dreams i feel so damn depressed. so inadequate, so aimless, so useless... you get the drift. and i really really really envy them. even ppl who are doing something meaningful and purposeful in their lives now. wth am i doing? studying, learning, all for what? at the end of the day all i'll do is come out, work,earn money, maintain my life. thats it, right?
today my friend was talking about dying at 25. after studying, working for awhile, she'll enjoy her life to the fullest and die at 25. come to think of it, it makes good sense.
yeah so you know what to get me for my 25th birthday.


oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook.
self indulgent moment la ok.
damn sian.

and ive been watching the korean boys before flowers (yeah kinda late to get hooked onto it) and i still love hua ze lei/rui/ji hoo's character best. if there were a guy like that in real life i think i'll fall head over heels for him man. oh and i love yi jung's character in the korean version. actually all the characters in the korean version have more depth and are really more likeable.
yeah another self indulgent moment.

back to real life.

Sarah, start studying TOMORROW.

the unkindest cut of all @ 8:41 PM

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sarah
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